If you have bothered to visit this site it is highly likely that you already know me and my stance on the Independence issue. If, by some very unlikely chance, you have strayed here randomly, you should know where I'm coming before reading further. I am in the "Better Together" camp, but with some real reservations and by no means as firmly as I was previously.
So, on the eve of this historic referendum, here are some last minute thoughts on the key players...
ALEX SALMOND
"The Fat Fish". The Ace of Spades.
It goes without saying that I am not a fan. However, I will concede that, with a few exceptions - most notably the unfurling of The Saltyre behind Cameron's head at Andy Murrays Wimbledon final (immature in the extreme and a total embarrassment for all involved) - he has run an exemplary campaign.
He is an extremely effective politician. The polls speak for themselves; to narrow the gap from a mere 30% voting Yes at the start to 50/50 now. You really can't argue with that.
He has worked tirelessly, especially given his weight and age, around the clock and spoken largely carefully and well without resorting too much to insult and denigration. He is a passionate, if egotistical, man, who seems to really believe in his mission.
I don't agree with much of what he says but I do kind of admire him. The right man for the job.
ALASTAIR DARLING
"The Colonel in Chief"
A nice man with odd eyebrows. Fundamentally decent. I like him and agree with pretty much everything he says on this subject. Sadly, he is largely ineffective (much as he was as Chancellor of the Exchequer). If "No Thanks" lose it will be largely down to him. As the addage goes, he has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.
NICOLA STURGEON
"Fishy Fanny". The Ace of Diamonds.
This vile, egotistical, shouty, racist and forceful woman has absolutely no redeeming qualities but does seem to appeal to those more extreme "Yes" voters.
The worrying thing is that it is rumoured that if "Yes" win then Salmond will step down to make way for her.
I truly despise this woman and want her dead.
DAVID CAMERON
"The Old Etonian"
Our PM and effective at home. A slimy individual whom I instinctively dislike, even though I am a Tory and agree with most of what he says in domestic, international and Scottish politics. The trouble is, I don't feel I can trust him and the Scots certainly feel that way.
Every time he opens his mouth on the independence question or ventures North of the border he is counterproductive. Doesn't he realise that all Scots, whichever side of the fence they stand on hate the Conservative Party and Westminster? He should simply just shut the fuck up.
His last minute bribes to retain the union have only angered Scotland and the rUK alike.
If Scotland split on Friday he will go.
SEAN CONNERY
"James Bond"
A National treasure. The second best Bond ever. A very attractive and charismatic old fella. Looks good in a kilt (who doesn't?).
Irritating in the extreme when he starts spouting the nationalist bollox, which he has been doing for years.
He should shut up and stay the fuck out of politics.
DAVID MILLIBAND
"The Wrong Milliband"
What a complete buffoon! Totally ineffective in everything he does. He will lose the next general election for Labour and is no better on the Scottish front. Less than useless and, like Cameron, does more harm than good whenever he ventures forth into Scotland.
I can't recall him saying anything worthwhile on the whole issue.
And he looks like an ape when he eats bacon sarnies!
GORDON BROWN
"The Cavalry"
Shat on by Tony Blair, this guy never really had a chance to shine as PM. He came in at the wrong time and failed miserably.
YET WHAT A COMPLETE REVELATION HE HAS BEEN!
This man is a true old fashioned, no spin, honest and genuine politician in the mould of Tony Benn (I never agreed with any if his socialist policies but totally admired him).
Gordon Brown has spoken passionately, coherently and succinctly whilst treading very carefully in order to upset no-one. He is a warm person who is clearly a proud Scot AND Brit.
The sad fact is that he was brought in far too late. He should have lead from the front from the very start. Had he been in charge of "No Thanks" instead of Darling then we would not be at the crisis point we are now.
I salute you, Mr Brown.
NICK CLEGG
"The Twat"
Who he????
BILLY CONNELY
"The Big Yin"
Funny!
"YES" - THE REST
See Nick Clegg.
It's down to the folk of Scotland now. No more campaigning. Think hard about what all the above have had to say and, when you stand with pencil poised, make the right decision for you, for Scotland and the whole of our great nation!
Good luck and may the best and most righteous side win!
